Saturday, February 24, 2007

Mom and me

God created woman in such a fashion that she carries the future in her womb. She is the world to the seed that becomes you from her flesh and blood. Her womb is your home for the first nine months of your lives. She is a safe haven where you are nurtured and developed. In short you owe your life to her. One can’t have a deeper or a closer relationship with anyone else. For a mother her baby is the most precious aspect in her life sometimes even more than her own soul mate. She does everything in her power for the happiness of her kids. Inspite of all this, my relationship with my mother has been a journey of ups and downs.

As a child I had always been a ‘papa’s girl’ as most girls are I guess. And since mom was the one in charge of our day to day development, she was always the bad cop for being strict with us. Then came adolescence where both sets of parent were just people who were your caretakers and who stopped you from doing things you liked. But even then dad got away with being good cop because he was the one who gave into our requests and bought us goodies. Or so was scene in the prejudiced mind at that time.

Then came the time when I started working and something in life shifted and from necessary evil in life they became best friends that I had failed to see so far. They became the confidants I could trust and depend on. The highlights of the day was narrated to them without missing a single beat and they too listened as if they were hearing manna from heaven. But even at that time dad took the centre stage in my life and mom never got her due for all what she had done. What ever she was doing too was going unnoticed and I can only remorsefully say I took her for granted. I failed to see the silent strength that was behind me cent percent. Failed to see how much care and love she showered on me, how much in pain she was when I was in any sort of pain. Failed to see how my actions affected her. I am sure coming from your own flesh it must have been more hurtful. Until we become parents we generally tend to not notice the sacrifices they make to bring us up or for our happiness. The changes in their lives they make for our dreams and aspirations. We fail to see our selfishness in this relationship till something happens in your life.

However, I am happy to say that this stage finally did change. The upward swing came after I got married and set up my own home. That is the time the realization of what I had done and what all I had taken for granted come into mind. I can’t express enough anguish in all the missed years of camaraderie and having behaved in the manner I did. But I guess I should feel happy that it is better late than never situation. I am thankful for this time where I have the chance to make up for my past mistakes. And I hope I am able to express adequately to her my love for her and my appreciation for all her concern and love that she has showered on me.

With the arrival of my daughter I can now clearly understand what she feels for me and what all she does for me. I do not think I will be as good a mom to my daughter as my mother is to me but I hope one day I will come close to it. I can only aspire and work to become so. I can also only hope to become as good a friend to my daughter as a mother should be. And I wish I will share the unique bond I have with my mom with my daughter. This spectacular relationship is so precious and special bond which we all must treasure.